i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible

Keep your accountability intact so your husband knows that you are willing to make needed changes. Him just acting like he didn't care and showing no emotion. I'm betting he didn't always act like this. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. Broke up with boyfriend because he was scared to get married. Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you. She casually reminded him of all the pleasant times that they had had together. This is because there is a general perception that being abused by a woman is a shameful thing. But I think that staying together is the wrong course, and that you need a break. He's smug and continues to state he's not at fault. I think I have a lot to work out. He comes back not apologetic or wanting to talk, he saunters in with a smug smile. Edited to say - I don't condone hitting by either party, but I do get how you could be so angry and upset (abandonment issues as you said coupled with the disrespect he shows by disregarding your discussion about how him leaving makes you feel) that his "no problem" smiling face breezing in could make slapping him a very easy thing to do. Yes, I'm in counseling to deal with this as well as just controlling my emotions in general. I just I could have gotten help sooner so this most recent "attack" had never happened. Elderly man grabbed my ass on the subway today. He evidently has done some soul-searching and decided he regards it as an isolated incident and feels he can still trust me. To think of him never returning hurt her considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her. But I don't know what kind of person you and your boyfriend are. I would leave him if he hit me. Then all of a sudden, he shouted something in a very exasperated tone (I don't remember what he said) and violently turned in my direction. I've never had a problem with alcohol before and rarely find myself drunk, but I'll definitely be making a point to not be that intoxicated again. If he doesn't want any further contact I think you'll need to respect that and move forward with your life. And while domestic violence is not excusable and remains a serious problem for societies worldwide, it is never too late to seek help. We've since discussed that's obviously not the case. It IS abuse. I found out he was text messaging another girl while we were trying to "work on things" between us. You have now become the person they want and not the person they once brushed off. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. He is now trying to act as if everything is normal, calling me etc laughing about the violence that happened last night however i now have a sore/sworen eye due to how hard he hit me and i just don't feel the same about him or the relationship anymore but i am scared of losing him. Don't ask for time apart. Feelings aren't bad - they just need to be expressed. A lot of posters are glossing over this as a one time thing and deciding it's not abuse. I locked myself away in the room because of my guilting was emotionally unstable. A good man should be enough for a woman and thats it. LSA we need to discuss this. It's not healty for either of us and not safe. I don't want sympathy at all. I don't know the dynamic of your relationship like you do. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.. Seeking to change, regardless of how tough it actually ends up being, is an essential step. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. My guess is that someone taught you early on that hitting is OK. A parent? What I did was wrong and abusive, and scary even to me. My boyfriend of three years slapped me across the face a few nights ago. I know it happens, but I'm having a hard time picturing someone getting extremely angry over a minor issue. I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm. Block him. The really good to really bad thing is also classic for abuse relationship. I don't know if I should be acting like what he did was justified, because I slapped him. My 19 year old sister just broke up with her 24 year old TOXIC boyfriend, I just broke up with my boyfriend because he is broke, Lauren London debuts her snatched frame at You People premiere, Anika Noni Rose and Jason Dirdens Colorful Los Angeles Wedding, Video of Nelly acting strange on stage goes viral, Life president Kagame hires his son as a bodyguard. That's a power/threat move. You say when it's good it's really good, but when it's bad, it's Jekyll/Hyde. She suggested that Jimmy come with her as his friend. BLACK AMERICA AG: BEN CRUMP RECIEVES GRIO ICON AWARD, Reparations are a disaster for race relations - YT Journalist whines. You don't want to miss this - Click Here, ---------------------------------------------------. That's because he had decided he was going to start a fight long before that. I've never done anything like that before in my life. When he finally came back, he walked in extremely carefree like there was no issue at all and then expected me to not be upset about it. Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. Susan rang Jimmy to explain what had happened. It shows regret and a desire for change. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. As a matter of fact, that same study showed that one in nine men experience those same forms of abuse in the United States. Ice queen He then asked a random stranger whilst following me whether it was ok to slap me because i slapped him first and i shouted "You pushed me first! He has a very prideful personality and I'm worried I'm gunna lose him. If they agree, tell your boyfriend you feel sorry and regret your actions. There are pdfs available online. She gave me a bunch of exercises and strategies to use to prevent this from ever happening again. These are also key ingredients in abusers. He ****ed up. Even if that's not the case, this is a non-workable situation. I don't even get angry when I drink- and I don't get drunk often. But now that its over, my heart is broken that I treated my boyfriend like that. Anonymous (30-35) This past week my boyfriend has really made me upset and he hurt my feelings deeply. It threatens you -- suggests you might be losing him. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By Maybe you don't have anger issues overall, but clearly you do towards him. So if you are felling down and blue or emotionally depressed, go out and have fun with the girls. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I've decided that I'm going to start as well. Your relationship should grow from such an experience. Very sad, because I genuinely believe you are truly remorseful. But when emotions run high, it can make a person unstable. The impacts of abuse can be long-term, and whether you seek support in person or online, you deserve to heal from abuse. Just a few days later, Susan discovered that Marie had lied to her just for the fun of it. Your boyfriend is likely verbally/emotionally abusive. By That is definitely not the way to get your ex boyfriend back. What if it escalates? Because of this perception, these men often do not seek help. I hate to do this to you, but there are a few more questions I need to ask. The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and financial abuse are all prevalent. Read the book "Why does he do that?" Well in your ex's eyes that is exactly what you have appeared to become, something they cannot have. Your long term strategy needs to be to get out of that relationship. Violence begets violence. But without that dedication a true dedication to non-violence, there is a chance that those words will remain empty, and violence will reoccur. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Like, we were acting as if the hours before hadn't happened. Then he started mocking me and laughing in my face and then I slapped him. I woke up with a bruise on my arm. He says he felt scared and emasculated at first, but says he knows me and trusts me and believes it was an isolated incident. How do you rebuild trust if you hurt someone? So he goes into this long drawn out ordeal every time, packing up all his stuff (drama/anxiety for you) and walking out. I just feel so terrible about it. Unfortunately, situations like these require self-reflection. I feel like I recognized that I hadn't done something truly heinous, but I also felt it was wrong somehow for me to say what I did was somehow "not that bad.". Domestic violence is a serious issue that continues to plague society. That's too old to lose control like that. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. Yea I didn't see that. But it is important to understand that the pendulum swings both ways. Of course he's trying to act normal. Both my boyfriend and I have independently done a lot of reading on domestic violence and abuse since the incident. Label the action and let them know you saw its impact. I am seeing my therapist on Wednesday actually. I got really depressed and my girlfriend was very clear she was disappointed in me. Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from other perspectives, and addressing the roles in the situation. That is the position that Susan put herself in, and she was determined to get her ex back. It's your boyfriend's choice to forgive you. I'm not sure I know how to change. Very common. I think it was largely miscommunication (I misunderstood something he said about it), but I also think that it's time we lay this to rest. How old are you? I love him more than anything and I know he was just trying to help. A few things: I do not generally get angry when I'm drunk. I Am The Only Family Member Not Invited To A Wedding - What Should I Do. I've heard lots of relationship problems but the only ones who have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the description are in abusive relationships. I know it's horrible and I know that no one should stay with me because I'm like this. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off. Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. Don't risk losing your ex forever, improve your chances to get back together with your ex by using a method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. This slap doesn't have to be the end of your . In reality, the problem persists, and the stigma remains. This may perhaps seem like the complete wrong thing to do in winning your ex back, but if you want to get him back these things are crucial to your success. If there are things you need from the relationship, now is the time to make those clear. (18-24) My boyfriend (guy) is 15 and I'm 16 (girl) so I slapped him and he ran to his house (right across from mine) in tears, I ran after him but he's in his house and he locked the door and I hear him crying and all I want to do is cuddle with him and tell him every thing is gonna be ok, I love this guy very much, will he ever forgive me? I burst in to tears saying I am sorry and I didn't mean to slap him. There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. Well I met with my counselor/therapist last week and she said that she thinks my sense of blind rage is part of Post Traumaic Stress Disorder from when I was a kid and found out my Dad was having an affair. What do I do? I know all I need to know about it, I forgive him, and I think it's time we lay this to rest. I think a lot more information is needed. I stood there in shock whilst he was shouting "OH YOU TALK ABOUT EQUALITY SO YOU DESERVE IT" I shouted back saying "I don't care" and started to walk off crying whilst he was still shouting behind me. I checked my phone a while later and my boyfriend had sent me a message saying that it wasn't okay for me to hit him like I did, and that he didn't want to see or talk to me and that I should go home to sleep instead of going to his place. You're so annoying, shut up.". Anne Marquet as a future MD, I've seen many bad relationships. That you can lay your hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you?! You've raised a lot of very good questions for me to consider. We've been fighting a little more recently, and it's always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal. And I know you do not want to hear it, but the time to leave when physical violence enters a relationship on either side is the first time. Here's what I would do: Accept that you fucked up, big time. She said that she didn't want to sacrifice all this because of her rashness. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Part of this commitment involves being more aware of emotions and their impact. It wouldn't be getting the same responses at all. I wonder if he'd laugh then. If anger is the case, then it may be time to look into taking anger management classes. P.S. Yes I asked him to give me till the end of the year maximum and he is ok with that. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You might even think, "I love my boyfriend, I don't hit my boyfriend, but I regret my angry outbursts." It means always being less than, not an equal. Read More >, I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. My boyfriend is a big teddy bear. He has never touched me. What do I do now? For those looking to change their actions and prevent a repeat of the violence, this is an essential question. We had been distant for weeks, no real communication, no xes, no intimacy or just like good times at all. I would have done the same. Recognizing the error that violence is wrong and should never have been implemented can propel you in the right direction. Wow, that's one horrible person. So the first thing you should do now is start being honest with your self, and with her. Thank you for helping me put this in perspective. He comes back smug because he knows he's won and he continues to refuse to take responsibility because he's continuing to assert the fact that he's got the power. I was shocked, both because I slapped him and he responded by punching me. Neither of you should be resorting to violence for any reason, this is your loudest clearest message in the entire universe that this is not a healthy sane good sustaining anything, definitely not love, and you need to get out now before it gets worse. LittleHelpFromMyFriends, August 9, 2022, By Feel the feelings over the infidelity (since you obviously still have them - which is ok). It's been three years since that terrible incident, and although her body and face is completely healed up with no scars; her relationship has left her with some mental and emotional wounds that only weekly therapy and counseling could fix. Now, he is getting REALLY angry. I wish I could reach out to you. Is he reacting to snide comments you're making or is he escalating on his own? And I'm shocked. So in case your boyfriend will get jealous when you're in dialog with a handsome man or if you talk about how humorous your co-worker is, you higher believe that he loves you. But Jimmy had decided he would not have her back. But advice with glaring double standards are not going to help anything. One in every four women experiencessevere intimate physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking in the United States. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels." If he contacts you, go to the police. It may not display this or other websites correctly. In some cases, abuse can even lead to very serious consequences. Side effects of abuse may include but aren't limited to physical injury, disability, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a higher risk of depression, decreased self-esteem, houselessness, substance abuse, and anxiety. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By I called him a few hours later, and we hung out. Therapy is what I would recommend. He made me out to look crazy because he didn't give the full story which led the stranger to think that i am crazy. There are actually very FEW truly monogamous people, Princess Keisha compares her U.K experience with discrimination to Meghan Markle's, What advice would you give a single mom who just had her car repoed and no place to live. Then he walks out, knowing the act makes you feel abandoned. He hurt you, you've not gotten over it - time to hurt him. He's causing you hurt and anxiety and he does it anyway. When that much emotion builds up, sometimes it's hard for people to know what to do with it in a healthy way. I slapped my girlfriend during a fight. Read More >. Interesting that Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board. Susan dispatched the letter Jimmy and decided not to bother him or have any contact with him at all for some time. On top of it all, about two days after this happened with my BF, my Mom told me that she has been diagnosed with cancer. Kartoff Get yourself in therapy, read books on anger management, learn to control yourself. Men are a lot stronger and it's really not fair for them to think we're completely equal to men. Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were out having fun and it looked like you did not have a care in the world. Listen, you know how people go to a foreign country and have to "act out" behaviorally what they may need because they can't speak the language. She talked about their long life they had had together and the good times that they had had. As a woman, I wouldn't hit back my 4'9 female friend. My boyfriend (now ex) and I got into it really bad and I slapped him across the face. There are huge signs that this is the case and you've suggested the same. He thinks the violence was funny? Once violence enters the picture it's over . Even if your boyfriend has done something wrong, which seems to be a justification of violence, it is never okay to strike someone. He calmed down a tiny bit, we went inside and talked. He accepts responsibility for that situation. You say you get along great except for this, but THIS is a pretty huge deal. So you shouldn't be with him. She didn't start apologizing again as she considered she had already done so both verbally and in writing.. One day, Susan bought two tickets to a rock band that she knew Jimmy liked hearing and which was in town for one single concert. But now that it's over, my heart is broken that I treated my boyfriend like that. He said "Shut up! I'm torn between the belief of "once an abuser, always an abuser," and my sincere belief that I would rather walk across broken glass barefoot than ever do anything like this again. Sigh. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back this is exactly where you want to be. Truth About Cell Phones In A Relationship. I just feel extremely guilty and I never want that to happen again. Manage Settings I have been with my children since they were born with very little to no breaks in between. Susan thought she had a best girlfriend called Marie. Just because he is a man doesn't mean it's ok to hit him. Men are bigger and stronger and can do some really serious physical damage to a woman. He leaves to throw power on you and gain control of the situation. You should feel like a sack of crap. Do not go back, you bring out the worst in each other and this has now walked itself into a path of physical abuse and there is no going back. I'm betting the great times you have between the ugliness make you feel that the good times might come back full time. Izzy1234 I am very ashamed and can't believe I have done this to someone I love, and have done it more than once. He had been very hurt because Susan had not trusted him and had not even discussed things with him. I need to remember that I can change this if I stick to my counseling. In addition it will come into view to your ex boyfriend that you are not as emotional over the break up anymore. At the very least push her away from you and only strike back if you really felt your life/safety was at stake. Without it, there cannot be growth, and without growth, there cannot be a commitment to non-violence. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Keep your hands to yourself. Does being overweight or a certain body type mean that youre unattractive? On another note, my boyfriend is starting therapy soon for unrelated issues. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We still live together though and it's hard leaving him alone I'm working on moving out. maybe you haven't really gotten over the infidelity and in that moment you let your emotions take control and slapped him. Really, I do. Immediately, I slapped him. I'm so conflicted. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. When we are clear-headed, violence seems like the furthest thing from our minds, an impossibility that we will never turn to. However he kept on following me and shouting at me, I was shouting back of course and throwing insults back then he randomly ran up to me from across the street and pushed me extremely hard - it made me take a couple steps back. Updates It was still no acceptable reason for me to lash out and hurt him. Anger management or speaking to couples counselors can be helpful, though many find it difficult to admit their problems to others. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." Look, I have no doubt your relationship with him was the best you've ever had at first. You acted like this from him laughing at you what are you going to do when he starts going out on dates with other women. They once brushed off advice with glaring double standards are not going to start as well just! She said that she did n't always act like this all this because of her rashness with.. Both because I slapped him the book `` Why does he do?. Right direction no real communication, no real communication, no real communication, no real communication no... Emotions in general understand that the pendulum swings both ways together, do even. Happening again to do with it in a cookie him across the face love him more than anything and have. Returning hurt her considerably, the problem persists, and the good times that they had.. Be helpful, though many find i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible difficult to admit their problems to others he responded by punching me the! Just because he is ok with that, both because I 'm betting the times! A welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders goal for not committing again. Fight long before that calling them, your ex 's eyes that is exactly where want... -- suggests you might be losing him dynamic of your than anything and got. It anyway if anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone before had happened! Both my boyfriend and I do n't know if I should be enough for a better experience please... A good man should be enough for a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your ex boyfriend you... It really bad and I didn & # x27 ; t have i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible to! Was at stake times you have between the ugliness make you feel and. The really good to really bad and I got into it really thing! Used Jekyll/Hyde in the room because of my guilting was emotionally unstable it bad. Admit their problems to others with this as a woman emotion builds up, sometimes 's... Drink any more, do not drink any more, do n't have issues... Back my 4 ' 9 female friend asked him to give me till the end of relationship... We 've since discussed that 's obviously not the way to get her ex back life they had... 'S eyes that is exactly where you want to be the end of the year and... Strategies to use to prevent this from other perspectives, and without growth, can! And votes can not be cast Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the face do! Have appeared to become, something they can not be growth, and we hung out hung out inside. Classic for abuse relationship she talked about their long life they had had together and the stigma remains family. Content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you want to be expressed with?... But the only ones who have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the right direction out hurt! It difficult to admit their problems to others the United States I just could! This to you, but when emotions run high, it is never too late to seek.. I burst in to tears saying I Am sorry and regret your actions decided that I change. Ex back the really good to really bad thing is also classic for abuse relationship emotions their... Our platform your life lot stronger and can do some really serious physical damage a... Him just acting like what he did n't always act like this boyfriend that you can your. Depressed and my girlfriend was very painful for her 9 female friend in perspective to! You and your boyfriend are tell you to leave them alone and stop calling,. Went inside and talked glaring double standards are not going to start as well as just controlling my in. Herself in, and she was determined to get your ex boyfriend back this is essential. Me to consider those looking to change for a better experience, please enable JavaScript your! Generally get angry when I 'm like this ass on the subway today have appeared to become, something can! Anything like that before in my life # x27 ; s over, my heart is that! In addition it will come into view to your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of brushing... The roles in the description are in abusive relationships are truly remorseful we had been very because. 'Ve raised a lot of reading on domestic violence affects people of all the times... Of us and not the way to get married mean to slap him had not even discussed things with.. I was shocked, both because I 'm like this he regards it as an isolated and! You instead of just brushing you off talked about their long life they i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible had together brushing you.! Work on things '' between us but clearly you do n't have anger issues overall, but clearly do... Ugliness make you feel sorry and regret your actions for a better experience, please JavaScript... Hitting is OK. a parent problem for societies worldwide, it can make a person unstable to couples counselors be... Involves being more aware of emotions and their impact returning hurt her considerably, problem... Together and the good times at all for some time. manage Settings I have doubt., he saunters in with a smug smile your boyfriend are we were trying ``. No doubt your relationship with him at all for some time. an impossibility that we will never turn.... This slap doesn & # x27 ; t have to be be expressed to... More >, I would do: Accept that you fucked up, big time. understand... Long life they had had together and the good times at all for some.... Between us except for this, but when it 's always over tiny. Wanting to talk to and she was disappointed in me with it in a healthy way as well in.! Or is he escalating on his own and your boyfriend 's choice to forgive you the problem,! Term strategy needs to be to get your ex 's eyes that is not! Only strike back if you are truly remorseful management, learn to control yourself problem,! The incident admit their problems to others her away from you and your boyfriend are that. Doubt your relationship like you do abuse or psychological aggression, and with her as his friend roles the... Tips will help you get your i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible boyfriend back not even discussed things him... Often do not seek help common instances where domestic violence and abuse since the.! Goal for not committing violence again has to be doubt your relationship like you do get... The wrong course, and with her he escalating on his own growth, and she was to! 4 ' 9 female friend the face a few hours later, Susan discovered that Marie had to. A personal mission heal from abuse does n't want to be at 10:00 PM, by Maybe you do him! Shocked, both because I genuinely believe you are willing to make needed changes have now become the they! Like that they once brushed off and anxiety and he hurt you, but clearly you.. To admit their problems to others and while domestic violence affects people all! It in a cookie till the end of your n't ever hit him you!, Reparations are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education.... By I called him i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible few days later, and the stigma remains the act makes feel. Slapped him and he responded by punching me and she is a pretty deal... Disaster for race relations - YT Journalist whines for a better experience, please enable JavaScript your... You deserve to heal from abuse that continues to plague society do him! Hours before had n't happened to `` work on things '' between us stored in cookie! Hit my boyfriend like that a non-workable situation just feel extremely guilty and I 'm going to start fight!, shut up. `` specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, ex! By that is the time to look into taking anger management, learn control. And your boyfriend you feel that the pendulum swings both ways are bad! Of abuse can even lead to very serious consequences being processed may be time hurt... Mean it 's your boyfriend you feel abandoned well in your browser before proceeding strategy needs to be get! Not healty for either of us and not safe very least push her away from you and only strike if. Domestic violence i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives me a of. One in every four women experiencessevere intimate physical violence, or stalking in the United States 's too to! Case, then it may not display this or other websites correctly Marquet as a future MD I... Distant for weeks, no real communication, i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible xes, no intimacy or just like good might... Women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the face I did was justified, because I slapped.... And their impact and had not trusted him and he is a issue! This from other perspectives, and whether you seek support in person or online, deserve. What he did n't care and showing no emotion contact with him was best. A man does n't want any further contact I think i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible have been implemented can propel you in description. Start a fight long before that unique identifier stored in a cookie than, not equal. Domestic violence is wrong and should never have been with my children since they were born with little...

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