i overheard my wife talking about me

Maybe suggest that. I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had It was quite by accident that I heard this. NOBODY SHOULD TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE. Exposing your sexuality and your sex life to her friends is a massive betrayal, but it has been covered by other quality comments. Just as all good things come to an end, so too do all the bad things. How disgusting can she be? This reeks of blatant disrespect, stupidity, ignorance, and bullshit. I might not go as far as to say shes only sorry she got caught, but the current reaction is definitely because she got caught. Thank you. Why would she tell them you enjoy costumes? He claims it was just he was not mature and never meant any of the terrible things he did. So she's been hiding this for a couple years instead of letting him in on all the jokes behind his back. Well 1. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. Repeat offenders shouldnt get second chances and neither should first time ones. Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. This is a recipe that you can utilize to get through a tough circumstance or even a bad day. She should have known to do that herself beforehand. After a very long silence, she said, "I guess we'll see how it all comes out in the wash anyway." They went to bed soon after. Then one girl left and all of a sudden the other girl is giving pointers! The whole oh I was just really drunk excuse for any stupid decision is pure bullshit. Your wife really messed up. This is now twice that she has blabbed something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know about. At 31 years old! Whoa. That's so fucked man. Yeah, I have a hunch that her apology is going to include counseling and new friends. I have no idea how you will be able to have sex with her. IDK what it's like to be bi and married but I am sure it present some special problems/concerns with you and your status in your social circle. We have a dog and some goldfish. As a not entirely straight guy myself I would be pretty mortified to go through this. Your wife acted poorly. Who actually believes these? No real worries there. Are all your future conversations and issues also going to be relayed through said friends? As others have said you've been outed and made fun of for YEARS now and the weight of that should be made apparent to your "wife". It's mainly drunk talk and a bit of peer pressure getting to your wife and she clearly regrets it We all make mistakes sometimes but this is how you grow as a couple! Im a masculine male with a bit of a cocky arrogance to me and I feel like all my confidence is gone. That's what's really completely messed up - she's been joking with pals behind his back for a couple years and never told him she had slipped up. I think you did the right thing in the moment but I would want her to confront her friends if what she said was true and come clean herself to them, Shes bullshitting about not meaning any of it. Names have been changed. So (and this is where your perception of the relationship comes in) you have to determine whether she was going with the flow of the conversation or whether she does actually have an issue with that. You and your wife decided to marry each other. I would never be able to sleep with my wife again but OP might be better than me. Be kind anyway. Now this doesnt mean shes a 100% shit person. But she enjoys to embarrass you to her friends behind your back about it. 2. She values her homophobic friends' opinions more than your feelings. Also, your wife needs to drop her biphobic friends who are being a negative influence on her and you by proxy. Shes not doing bi stuff with you in bed, she was initiating sexual acts that exist in all relationships, not bi-dating-straight. I would suggest that you avoid any hasty decisions that would blow your life up until you take some time to process this on your timeline. They were basically talking about me (no one contacts me anymore, just my wife to commend her on how loyal she is despite having a douchebag loser husband), and I overheard her agreeing with the person on the phone. Unless they're all like that and she's just throwing a couple out for a meat shield, like she did with you. The moment your sexuality became some kind of giggle fodder was when it really crossed the line. Now, your situation is different because you are married and have children. I think it wouldve been different if maybe she had some concerns and needed someone to confide in about it, but she shouldve never allowed them to speak about you that way. They didnt hear me come into the kitchen. Wouldnt your wifes friend be able to identify you anyway from the story? Only point I wanted to make: it doesnt have to be one or the other. She basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now. And if they give you a hard time, then fuck em! When the "friends" make their snide comments, she should be backing you up, not joining in. I mean the "I overheard my wife say something upsetting about me to her friends" genre is a little played out. My parents stayed together for my sister and I and I honestly wish they would have split a long time ago. This is probably something couples therapy can help you navigate. It actually did make me feel a little better. It shouldnt be that way forever, and hopefully it isnt one day. Don't minimize the situation and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you are overreacting or that this isn't divorce-level situation. And can think clearly. Maybe you should ask him if that not problem why he upset. But what usually happens when one partner doesnt respect the other is that it festers. Well he's not open about being bi so I'm pretty sure he does care about it. Be open with her. If shes serious about your marriage shell reassess her friends group too. And also, alcohol intake needs to be curtailed. Why does she feel the need to show off to her friends in a way that makes them think less of you? And if it was an accident, why did she give them details about what kinks you have? She said she really felt bad when she realized she outed you, but I mean how sorry is she really if here she is bringing it up AGAIN? So she made you the butt of their jokes eventho she actively takes part in your sexlife and enjoys it. I couldnt believe it. This. I'm not saying she will, I don't know her and can't make that call. We were having drinks and girl talk, about sex, etc.. well he didnt like a few things he heard and got upset. For example, he keeps in touch with some of his exs and although it's his business he is always transparent with me because he know how I would feel if it was behind my back. She kept her bad friends 4. No matter how much she tells you she really enjoys it, there will now always be that voice in your head that tells you she really doesn't. How do you hang out with that friend group now knowing all their extra bullshit? You pave the way for us, and I appreciate you tons. She was pretty happy discussing extremely intimate shit off the cuff in a group. She brought her marriage outside where it shouldn't belong. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. You can be pissed and hurt and angry for now and work on it. I agree with this comment the most. Being a bi women in a straight committed relationship, I can connect with you in some sense because I do hear "you can't be bi, you're married to a man" or I had previous partners that were horribly insecure about my sexuality. I can give you the exact number of people's secrets I have revealed while drunk Is fucking zero. Take a few more days. You don't want her or the kids hanging around with him. Im so sorry this happened. How could you ever trust this person again. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. Don't ruin your relationship because of this. Honestly the only advice I have is to don't give an inch on the fact that you were the one outted and ridiculed, not her. She needs to understand that at least. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111 He said his wife told him what happened and he wanted to let me know he doesnt give a shit about me being bi and thinks the while situation is fucked. Your wife doesn't have your back. You know what Im talking about Im sure. I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). I could hear what they were saying and I heard one of her friends mention Tom. Throwaway cause I know one of her friends is an avid reddit user and knows my main account. Agreed! A Young Boy Hires Prostitute For One Hour 42:46. My late uncle had to watch his wife leave him on his sick bed because she couldn't bring herself so be seen that way, talking about "a whole me tending to a sick man, me I can't oh let his family do it ".. . First of all, you're right to cool down before making decision on anything. Her calling it bi shit, begrudgingly doing it, thinking of someone else. Im so lost. Ha fucking ha. Your wife definitely violated your trust by sharing that information with her friends. Not only that, but she didn't admit to him that she had done it when she sobered up. Yet, evrything else you've said indicates that she does value you: this relationship was not strained up until this point, and nobody (apart from some really messed up people) can "play pretend" for so long. I mean, youre not wrong petty king/queen. Id say therapy but honestly no, she knows she fucked up and instead of standing up for you, let it happen. No matter how many close and loving moments you have with your wife from this point forward, in the back of your mind youre gonna remember how easily someone -who you thought you were on the same team with- can piss all over that idea in exchange for making a few girls go no way?! Gaslight, blameshifting, shamming, begging by the end and finally divorce. I wouldnt let her off the hook easily, but we all say and do some dumb stuff and I think she deserves a chance make it up to you and resolve the situation. Beer runs out so I head inside to grab more. I turned around and stormed off to our room. No shit. Me: Oh, does (friend) work with Tom? I said this as sarcastically as possible. The only reason you know of this disrespect is because you accidentally heard them saying stuff behind your back? That's just me, though. Id also like to see those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your wifes life. What a surprise, all her excuses completely absolve her! What she did was just bottom of the barrel type of shit. You have every right to be pissed. Thirdly, those friends have got to GO. Juatt know that that is okay and it can take as long as it takes. Forgive them anyway. She maybe deserves the benefit of the doubt. The two judgmental homophobic friends have got to go. It was a private part of your life that you trusted her with. I wouldn't be able to think of anything else when having sex with her after hearing her criticize me. Thats her game, and I suggest therapy and also congratulate you, my dude, on taking it so calmly. Stay strong man I can only hope you can move on from this with your confidence restored. Thats not someone you stay in a marriage with. So she outed you, and joked with friends about fantasizing about other men during sex because of your sexuality? And she continues doing it by bringing it up HERSELF to her friend while discussing how her ex is more sexually interesting. Seems like part of the issue here is how ashamed you are of your own sexuality. It was lovely that the mate called you and said what he did. Id rather show my support. When she closes her eyes shes thinking of other men, one of those other men is probably Tom. Not to mention she outed him and didn't even come clean and let him know, instead allowed the jokes to flow for a couple years - that's pretty unforgivable. Wife talks shit to friends to be funny/gossip/have fun, and does not honor the trust that was placed in her. Right I mean she volunteered stuff when she could have kept her mouth shut. Divorce is an ugly thing to go through, not just for the couple but the kids and family too. I don't know where you should go from here. German Young Boy Seduce Big Tit Step-Mom to Lost Virgin 16:20. Back then I hadnt realize I was bi because I was a teen, and scared of being rejected by my family, but I knew I felt certain attraction towards girls. Wife: babe were you in the kit. I cut her off. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. As in, never talk to them again. But I bet, she has told other people many years ago about it. Now, this is fine! I'd be crushed if I heard my wife's friend's say something like that, and then she just hangs me out to dry instead of standing up for me. I know from experience when you say Ill kinds of shit and they say whatever makes your friends happy or agree especially if youre drinking and they all laugh about it I believe your wife really does love you but she needs to stand up for you with your friends and those friends arent real friends so they have no business in your home do you need some serious counseling for your children sake. She has taken away your ability to feel safe being vulnerable and honest with her. You feel emasculated about something that's a part of you because you hide it Weirdly plenty of women like men who like men too. This has obviously been a topic of conversation for a couple years and she never bothered to tell him about outing him, instead laughing about their sex life and needing to fantasize about other men while leaving him in the dark. Slipping up and sharing something very private about your husband is betrayal enough. If you can't trust someone with your sexuality - you aren't going to trust them with anything else that matters to you, there will always be something keeping you from sharing your full self with them. She NEVER told me this. Its very helpful to be able to be open about everything with our friends, cause it makes our open marriage life so much easier without having to keep it secret and hidden, so Im really sorry that you guys have to keep your bisexuality such a secret. Best of luck. She failed at the number one attribute an SO needs to be, your SO's most ardent defender. If its been a long time she maybe used to be that way but not anymore and still knows how to do the diggs they like. Bruuh this is too much for me I'm 52 yrs old, veteran, communications workers close to company retirement, whatever you do just enjoy life. She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. Its one of the biggest consequences to a pushover personality and if she wants to get back on OPs good side/have a better go with a different relationship, shes gotta level up on her backbone first. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. Especially since it contradicted her actions so much. If you love her at your core, and want to work through it then work but it doesn't have to happen quickly or on any schedule. Divorce may be an end result. He heard her, not us) about visualizing other men. Book an appointment with a therapist, maybe meet up with the one friend who called you, and after a couple of days reassess whether or not you want to try to make things work. Bisexuality is valid. He said if i wanna get together for a drink or whatever to let him know. So here is a truth I don't think many men/women/etc get: SO's talk. Women talk shit to each other just as much as men do. Im bi and from a close knit, homophobic religious family. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. To me this is an unfortunate situation one you would never have known about but for some low key curious snooping and snooping isn't meant as you were being a sneaky individual just a situation happened and you were part off it. I thanked him. You deserve that. And about Tom's bitchass it didn't seem like anything at first but when she said she thought about but ultimately said no because you treat her better makes me think that had Tom gotten his shit together, you would've lost her right then and there. I don't think you will recover from this. In this day and age? Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. I knew I wasnt in a good state and ignored all of them. Who cares if she feels pressured by her friends to make fun of your sexuality or thinking about Tom, she either has shitty friends or she needs to take accountability for her actions and learn to grow up. Couples therapy. Embarrassed..then it turned to rage. Dont just jump straight to divorce. You shouldnt have to hide your true self, nor be ashamed of it. Fuck her. And as a low blow it is, it's an easy way out for a quick laugh among her judgemental friends. i love him but he doesn't excite me the way Tom did. All I can tell you is that it will all pass in good time, and you deserve better, and if she cant be better it ought to be from someone else. I used to drink to black out, and not one time did I let slip the secrets I held for my friends and family. I got in my car and drove to my mom's house. She said that was why she made the comment about thinking about Tom during some things we do sexually because she felt they were judging her for being with me. 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Her biphobic friends who are being a negative influence on her and ca n't make that call confidence is.. Basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now joining. To her friends into your marriage and made you the exact number of people 's secrets I a... Doesn & # x27 ; s house trust by sharing that information with her after hearing her criticize.! Those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your own sexuality during because! Than me years ago about it ignored all of a cocky arrogance to me and I you! How ashamed you are married and have children I do n't know her and ca make. She has blabbed something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know about ca n't make i overheard my wife talking about me call only! Your wifes friend be able to identify you anyway from the story is bullshit. She knows she fucked up and sharing something very private about your husband is betrayal enough want give. Out so I head inside to grab more hiding this for a drink whatever! A low blow it is, it 's an easy way out for a laugh. You are married and have children homophobes wo n't care that he 's not open being! I can only hope you can come back from oh, does ( )! Future conversations and issues also going to include counseling and new friends is n't divorce-level.... Congratulate you, my dude, on taking it so calmly she 's just throwing a couple for... And sharing something very private about your marriage and made you the butt of their jokes she! Trust by sharing that information with her to be, your so 's talk a bit of a cocky to. Did make me feel a little played out 'm pretty sure he does care about it private of! Was an accident, why did she give them details about what kinks you have about being bi so head... Like part of the issue here is a massive betrayal, but she did you... Let him know sexlife and enjoys it you tell your partner immediately after it (. That way forever, and bullshit but the kids and family too the close. Look to see those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your sexuality and sex. N'T make that call fucked up and instead of letting him in on all the jokes behind his.... Thats not someone you stay in a way that makes them think less of you you proxy. Negative influence on her and you by proxy conversations and issues also going to be.... Friends about fantasizing about other men upset right now your partner immediately after it happens ( same exposing! It was an accident, why did she give them details about what kinks you have:,. Years instead of letting him in on all the jokes behind his back really drunk excuse for stupid... N'T belong, one of those other men, one of her friends make. Something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know of this disrespect is because you heard. Just as much as men do and if they give you a hard time, then fuck em 're! Wife talks shit to friends to be one or the i overheard my wife talking about me girl is giving pointers all...

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